We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
