Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
3pm strippers are depressing
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
