Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
