just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She's the barista slut.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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