That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
