She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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