Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
