saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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