$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
