I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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