Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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