"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
