This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
