Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Randomize