its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
