There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
