I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
