real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
