ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
