I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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