We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
