No, you can still breathe under the balls.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
