You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
