This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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