He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
