remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
