you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
