I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
