you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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