margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your penis caused this!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
