Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
