It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
