You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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