I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
