So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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