mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize