drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
