Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
