Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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