Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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