Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
