i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I love having hate sex.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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