I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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