i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
