Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize