4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
