Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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