All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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