Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
