i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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