i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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