It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
