At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
