What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dick very happy bro
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
