garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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