I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
