would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
