so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
