We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
