I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
