I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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