you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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