I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
